Doubt
by LegendaryHighFive
Summary: "No, Beckett. I'm tired of trying to convince you that I love you. I'm tired of having to do that. You should already know and if you don't already…I don't think we should even continue." Minor-spoilers for Monday's episode. R
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I woke up this morning and I just had this thought in my head that I needed to get out. I didn't want to get it out, but as I read more and more fanfics, I just HAD to. It's something that I can picture happening in next week's episode. **

**This is the result. Tell me what you think about it when you're done!**

**Enjoy!**

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His head lolled back against the walls of the holding cell, eyes clenching shut as he let out a breath, shaking his head against the metal door. He could hear footsteps coming down the aisle towards his end of holding. The footsteps slowly came to a halt in front of his cell and by the familiar smell, he knows just who it is. But he didn't open his eyes.

"Castle…" She spoke softly, almost timidly. He had never heard her like this.

He sighed, his head rising, his eyes opening to meet hers, though reluctantly. "What do you want, Beckett? Do you want to ask me questions again? See if my answers change the millionth time?"

She grimaced, shaking her head as she stared down at the bench he sat on. "No, Castle. Not this time."

"So what do you want, Detective? Cause I think I'm getting a bit tired and I need to figure out how I'm supposed to sleep on this bench. What do you think: the cement or the wood? I can't decide." His voice was sarcastic and biting towards her. The step she took back would've caused him to apologize profusely before, but now? Now, he doesn't care.

"Why did you buy that jewelry, Rick? I need to know. I just need something to clear you. We have _nothing._ _Nothing_, Castle. You need to help us," her eyes were pleading but her voice was steady. He laughed sardonically, making her brow furrow.

"You know what, Detective Beckett? My lawyer told me not to speak to anyone without him. So this conversation is over." With that, he turned in his seat and looked at the opposite wall.

"Rick, I know you didn't do this." Her voice was unsteady, her bottom lip abused by her teeth.

He turned and stood up abruptly. "Do you, Beckett? Do you really?" His blue eyes were a dark shade, cold.

"Yes. Of course I do. I trust you, Castle." Her eyes sought out his, but she only got a scoff in return.

"Yeah, like you trusted me enough not to kill this woman. Like you trusted me not to cheat on you with both her and that reporter. Right? Yeah, you sure trust me a lot." He stalked towards where she stood as he spoke until only the thin fence was between them.

"You know how this job is, Rick. I need evidence, not judgment." She pleaded with him, giving him the right to be angry. She would be pissed too.

"Yeah, I get it. The murder, that's fine. I know you need evidence. But the fact that you doubted our relationship? That hurt, Beckett. How could you think that I was cheating on you?" His voice was incredulous.

She looked around to see if anyone could hear them before she spoke again. "Castle, you bought her jewelry."

"It wasn't me! You _know_ that." He roughly rubbed his hands down his face in frustration. Looking at her, he shook his head and let out a sigh. "I waited. For FOUR years for you. I risked my life multiple times. We nearly froze to death in each other's arms. We nearly got eaten by a tiger. And I stayed by your side. I came back _every day_ just so I can be by you. And when we finally get together…you think I would throw all that away?" His voice rose with every sentence, the vein in his neck pulsing as he seethed with anger.

"Rick, just –" Her eyes were shining, her voice small.

"No, Beckett. I'm tired of trying to convince you that I love you. I'm tired of _having_ to do that. You should already know and if you don't already…I don't think we should even continue."

"Cas—"

"Goodnight, Detective."


	2. Chapter 2

**Some asked for another chapter to go with it and this is what I came up with. It sucks, I know, but I didn't really know how to do this correctly. Sooooo, yeah. **

**Enjoy, I guess!**

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He sat in the dark study, a tumbler of whiskey in his hand as he stares out the window at the darkened skyline of New York. He had been released yesterday, them having found enough evidence to clear his name.

He hadn't seen her since. He doesn't want to.

Emptying the glass, he shut his eyes as the warm liquid ran down his throat, numbing the pain in his chest.

Four years. Four years wiped out so quickly.

Ryan had been sympathetic, the trust in his bright blue eyes smoked out when he had searched through his own friend's home for evidence.

Esposito was unbreakable. Castle had to admit that he admired the man's objectiveness and strong will, but the loyalty that Esposito had been rooting for so long was gone.

Beckett…Beckett was Beckett. She was no longer the Kate that he brought to his Hamptons home. She was no longer the Kate that woke up with him the morning after and smiled, kissing him before they went to work. She was no longer his.

Turning around in his office, he stared at the cover art for Frozen Heat, anger rising up in him as he threw his glass at it. The sound of glass shattering and the board tipping over brought déjà vu, the feeling so strong it brought him down to his chair. He remembered how his mother flew into the room when he had thrown an identical glass to the Heat Rises poster.

But his mother wasn't going to waltz into the study and talk to him.

Neither was his daughter.

They were both gone. His mother with her friends in Las Vegas for the week, his daughter at the movies with her friends for the night.

He was alone.

At least, he thought he was until _she _walked into the room.

"Beckett, what do you want?" He sighed, his shoulders slumping in resignation.

"You."

That word had brought them together the first time, but it wouldn't this time.

He lifted a hand between them, halting her advance towards him.

"You don't get to do that," his jaw clenched, his eyes cold and boring into hers.

"Rick, I'm –"

"You don't get to apologize either," he shook his head. "You don't get it, do you?"

"No, I don't. Help me because I really don't get it, Castle." She stood her ground. Not running like he expected her to, like she used to do.

"Beckett, you arrested me. You interrogated me. You _doubted_ me. And now you think you could just waltz in here and say one word and I'd come back to you?" His voice rose with the next statement. "I've come back to you enough. I'm human. I can only take so much, Kate. I've waited so _long_ for you. I've been so patient. I've risked _everything_ for you. And you, and everyone else in that precinct, threw it away."

Her eyes were shining with unshed tears as she took her bottom lip in between her teeth. She looked to the ground, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. It was a moment before she spoke up in a small voice.

"Castle, I need you to understand that I made a mistake. This," she gestured between them, "is new to me. I don't know how to do this and I am trying."

"Yeah, if trying means that you _arrest_ me and accuse me of cheating on you." He's angry.

"I said I made a mistake. But I can't apologize for arresting you. It's my job. It's all our jobs." She's adamant, but her hands are running through her hair, her eyes pleading with him to understand.

"It wasn't your job to accuse me of cheating on you. You _knew_ where I was that night. I kept that a secret for _you_. But you still doubted me." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, moving to walk past her to the door of his study. "Look, I don't want to do this."

"Do what, Castle? Fix our relationship?" Her voice his incredulous, her hand on his forearm keeping him from moving.

"Kate," his voice is resigned. He gave up. He gave up on them.

"No, Rick. You listen to me. I waited four years for you. I wanted you for so long but it took me almost dying to realize that I _need_ you. You can't look me in the eye and tell me that you can just let this go after how far we've gotten." Her hand slid down to his, intertwining their fingers together and pulling him closer to her.

His eyes are shut as she leans up to put her lips to his. He doesn't respond. She rests her forehead on his chest, her breathing ragged.

"I don't know if I can move past this." His voice is rasp as it cuts through the silence after a few moments.

"You don't have to. We can do this together, Rick. _Together._"


End file.
